I’ve Been Doing Mindfulness for a While Now. Why Am I Still Fighting to “Get There” Sometimes?

Sometimes we come to a mindfulness session with some expectations or preconceptions of how it should go:

“I should feel more relaxed, more peaceful.”

“My mind should get quieter and calmer.”

In other words, we want to be “there” – more relaxed, more peaceful, more calm. But right now, we feel that we are “here” – not relaxed, not peaceful, not calm.

So how do we “get there” from here?

Paradoxically, the solution is to just be here instead of trying to be “there.”

Nonjudgmental awareness means letting go of our preconceived notions of how this moment should be. And come back to simply experiencing this moment, feeling the breath that we are taking in right now.

We can notice and acknowledge the stress or tension we are feeling, or the anger or frustration we are feeling. Then we can gently let them go and return to the breath.

By doing that, we are simply here instead of trying to “get there.” Paradoxically, when we are willing to do that, to keep coming back to the present moment this way, we naturally become more relaxed, more peaceful, more calm. In other words, we’re “there.”

When we find ourselves thinking that this moment is not how it should be or how we’d like it to be, we can practice mindfulness this way.