It’s very human to avoid unpleasant experiences. When it comes to emotions, there are some unpleasant ones that we really prefer not to have anything to do with. Typically labeled as “negative emotions,” they are difficult feelings such as shame, jealousy, disappointment, sadness, and anger. We avoid those emotions in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, sometimes causing harm to ourselves and/or others in the process.
But these so-called “negative emotions” are not our enemy. They are trying to tell us something. Our emotions tell us what is important to us. Distressful emotions arise when we are unable to connect with what is important to us. Conversely, “positive emotions” tell us that we are moving in the direction of living out our values.
In other words, our emotions are loyal allies that are always telling us how close we are to our core values. If we are willing to make space for the difficult emotion, perhaps we can listen to it more closely and hear what it’s telling us. Then there is a possibility that we can make some choices that get us closer to what’s important to us.
If we ignore or suppress our emotions, they will continue to arise to send us those important messages. So the best way forward is to acknowledge and listen to our emotions. You can start right now! What emotion are you feeling, in this moment, as you read this? What might that emotion be telling you about what is important to you?
Photo by HR
Mindfulness FAQ 